I hate gossip. I mean - I hate it. Kind of. I have to admit I like hearing the "news" from back home. You know - who's pregnant, who's in jail, who's getting a divorce, etc... But that's news, right? Perhaps this is just rationalization of bad behavior... or sinful behavior. Is there a difference between simply knowing the news and gossip?
Gossip is one of the most dangerous sins because it is so subtle and ambiguous -- many are unable to recognize it. Be on alert against gossip whenever you hear of “secret information” being circulated, or if you hear anyone else’s name is used in a conversation. Gossip exists whenever persons “talk about others” in less than a favorable way. The root of gossip is negativeness, judgementalism, slander, etc. Avoid associating with people who gossip “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much” (Prov. 20:19). You probably remember the old saying: “If you can’t say something good about others, don’t say anything at all.” Wise advice if you wish to avoid sin.
Gossip often masquerades as “concern” for others. Rumors or gossip will seem more palatable if they first hide behind a pretentious expression of concern. “I hate to say anything about this to you, but I’m ’concerned’ about so and so.” At other times the gossiper will seek you out as their “confidante” to unload their “heavy heart” about their concerns. “I’m very troubled about so and so and I don’t know who else to talk to about it.” In reality, the gossip is not sincerely concerned about solving the problem, only in talking about it -- stirring it up. “A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends” (Prov. 16:28). A gossip thrives on the negative, the controversial, and the sensational. Any person who is genuinely concerned about solving a problem, will go and privately confront the person at the source and express their concern. Or else they should go privately to the pastor so he will do it.
The gossip is like a spider looking for a prey to lure into their trap of gossiping. They may confide to you secrets or their private concerns about other people. Perhaps in consolement, you may express your half-hearted agreement with their concerns, or you may even be enticed to confide your secret concerns to them. Consequently, the gossip will eventually repeat the process with someone else -- but next time, they will add your name as an endorsement of their private “issue,” and will eventually even disclose the secrets you shared to them. And on and on it goes.
Things to remember about Gossip:
1. Gossip is as sinful as murder and will suffer the same consequences unless there is repentance (Rom. 1:32).
2. God holds you accountable to your words (Matt. 12:36-37).
3. The person who gossips to you about others, also gossips to others about you.
4. Gossip & slander disqualifies persons for spiritual leadership (1 Tim. 3:11, Jas. 3:2).
5. Gossip often masks as pretentious concerns for others.
6. Gossip often thrives upon secrecy. Where secrecy is removed, gossip is hampered.
7. Gossip always contributes to a problem and never to a solution.
8. Gossip always distorts and exaggerates, and is never a reliable source of truth.
9. Those who gossip & slander are not in right fellowship with God (Rom. 1:28-32).
10. Those who gossip rarely get answers to prayer, and often face persistent, unexplainable
problems (Psalms 66:18, Prov. 21:23, Prov. 6:12-15).
What to do about Gossip
1. If you have been a gossiper, confess this as sin and ask Christ to forgive you. “Repent” by turning in a new direction and surrendering your tongue to Christ, not to gossip or bad-mouth again (1 John 1:9, 1 Cor. 7:10).
2. Keep your nose out of other people’s business.
3. If you can’t say something good or encouraging about others, then keep your mouth shut (Eph. 4:29).
4. Never criticize another person, except to their own face with an intent to help. Criticism can never be “constructive” if expressed to anyone else.
5. If your “friends” start bad-mouthing others to you, stop them in their tracks -- refuse to be a partaker of their sins (1 Tim 5:22).
6. Avoid association with persons who gossip (Prov. 20:19).
7. Expose works of darkness by reporting gossip to the pastor that he may confront and offer correction. Gossip should be treated as any other vile sin (Eph. 5:11).
Author: J. Cintron
